Silent Tears

Silent Tears

By Blessed

Waking up to an alarm that was never set to go off
The sound of chaos running through the mind
Giving a jolting shock to the psyche
Even though the wakeup call wasn't the first of its kind
She's told "there's no place for you here"
She hears "you're useless...you're a mistake"
Tear drops form the beat of her heart...
I watch as she walks on the concrete sidewalk...
Carefully placing her steps...trying not to fall
But then steps into a ditch that she didn't see coming...
Everyone passes by
Disregarding her existence...
Tear drops form the beat of her heart...
She manages to pull herself from the hole

She walks steadily now
Trying her best to keep the eyes of her wisdom wide open
Along with the delicate brown eyes on her face...
She looks around and sees love in the air
Well at least that's what she hears people call it
But she doesn't know what it means
The only love she's ever known
Was the coarse hand across the facsimile of a smile she tries to keep on her face
Even though she doesn't know why
She is surrounded by people, but feels so stranded
Tear drops form the beat of her heart...
She walks with her head hung, trying not to connect eyes with anyone
She wants someone to help her
But she is afraid of what the outcome would be
If she attempts to extend her hand for the assistance she needs
Tear drops form the beat of her heart...
No mercy for her emotions, nor her body, as she is emotionally and physically rent in twain
"You're mine, and I love you. I don't ever want to lose you"
She hears once in a while, and she foolishly believes
Hoping that maybe this time around it might be true...
But that hope doesn't last long...
It is quickly betrayed by lack of what is needed for love to reside in her chaos...
Tear drops form the beat of her heart...
The unwanted scraps that you and I might look at in disgust has slowly become her Filet Mignon
Making her bones show and her malnourishment apparent
She weeps...she hopes...her body lives, while her emotions don't
She continues to walk day by day...looking for the sun to shine her way
Occasionally she gets a little light
But then she finds herself back to living in the shadows of her night...
I try to help...extend my hand as far as it can reach
She shoves it away out of distrust for me...
Then again...she doesn't really trust herself either...
I feel down when I see her
I can do nothing but pray for her tears
Hoping that one day they run down from her eyes across a smile of relief and happiness
But for now...I sorrow for her, as tear drops form the beat of her heart...

Thank You

Thank You

By Blessed

Lord, I thank You for another day

I thank you for being a Father to me, teaching me right, while showing me the look of wrong

So many times I have fallen short of your glory, as all men have

But yet, so many times have you picked me up, dusted me of, and led me back in the right direction

Time and time again I fall, but You find no problem in saying “It is ok son, I am here”

You have never given up on me Lord, even when I wasn’t where I should have been

You always tell me to be strong, yet humble

Many times you have told me that if I humble myself, You will lift me up, but if I exalt myself among men, You will cast me down

But You never cast down to leave in destruction

You only break parts of me so that You can continue molding and making me better than I was before

So many times I can almost hear Your voice and picture You saying, “Son, this is not for you”

But yet so many times I see myself falling from dangerous places, but not putting forth the best effort to hang onto the edge of that cliff

But yet, You are so merciful that you see it fit to catch me on a cloud

Sometimes when You do I feel like you caught me at a lower place than the last time

But by faith in You, through Your grace, I don’t have to hit the rocks below

Through You, I can fly high above the clouds

I can soar above the seas

I can be whole…

You always tell me to watch out for Your adversary, because he comes only to seek and devour who he may

But I refuse to let him devour me!

I rather be swallowed up and engulfed in Your love

Your love is good

Your love is pure

Your love is right

Your love covers a multitude of sin

Your love has covered my sin…

Through Your love, I have life today, and I have the opportunity to have life forever more

Lord, You have taught me so much about how to love, and I have tried my best to put it into practice

But I know there is still so much more to learn

You said that what is wisdom with men is foolishness with You

That’s how far above our understanding You are

For your methods are above our comprehension, and your ways are past finding out.

Your love passes all understanding

Lord, teach me more…

Teach me all that it means to be a true son of the King

Teach me more about the walk and talk of a man of God

And not only about the walk and talk, but more about the understanding, wisdom, prudence that I need to put a smile on Your face.

You told me that Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen

You said that if I believe, I can have life through Your name

You told me to trust in You, and lean not unto my own understanding

My fleshy understanding is futile, but through You, it can be elevated to a point where I can see clearly what it is you have in store for me.

I want only to operate in faith, believing in You, trusting that You are the definition of truth

I desire for you to continue to let Your will be done, always remembering me in the process, fulfilling Your will through me…

You told me that You will never leave me, nor forsake me

I can feel You here with me

You are my Father, Friend, Guide, Shield, Buckler, Brother, Shelter, Redeemer, Savior, Strength…and so much more that feeble words cannot describe

Thank You

I love You…

I Think To Myself

I Think To Myself

By Blessed

Time and time I think to myself

What do You see in a lowly servant like me?

Why is it that you thought it was so important to leave your throne of grace and glory

To come down here to suffer and die for me?

You decided to break away from the eternal comfort and praise of your angels

To save little ole me…a servant

Lord, time and time again I fall,

But You are so understanding…forgiving me each time

Lord, time and time again we fall

We do things that we don’t even recognize are against Your divine will

And yet You forgive us

We sin daily, many times because of the blindness that we experience through the lack of wisdom that is brought on by this flesh and blood we are surrounded by everyday

This is why You examine the intentions of our hearts carefully

If You were to examine our lives daily, taking into account every aspect of our behavior, and each thought that runs through our mind, then we would all receive nothing short of death and eternal damnation

But because of Your loving-kindness and Your mercy, You show us love and affection and the willingness to forgive

All qualities that You require for us to understand, embrace, and embody

Teach me to walk in Your ways in every aspect of my life, and help me to continue in them

I can do nothing of myself, because You are the source of all good.

I will consistently strive to follow Your will, giving You praise and adoration because You deserve nothing less

I thank You for Your Love, kindness, grace, and compassion

Help me to never let go of Your unchanging hand

Are You Willing To Love Me?

Are You Willing To Love Me?

By Blessed

What is this I feel for you?

Is this what you call love?

The smile on your face is very unique whenever it’s toward me

Why is that?

What does your smile for me mean?

Is that what you call love?

When I speak a soft word while looking into your eyes,

You respond by putting your head on my chest and wrapping your arms around me

What does that mean?

Is that what you call love?

When my words put on paper bring a tear to your eye, you always tell me you love me

But what does that mean?

How reliable is your love?

Does your “love” require your heart to rest alongside mine?

Where is your heart now?

Is it in my possession, just as my heart is in yours?

Do you know what love means to me?

It means a soft kiss followed by a sweet look

It means a reminder every now and then of how unique and special I am to you

It means that I am worth more than riches in your eyes

It means that we compliment each other, like adjacent puzzle pieces, taking on this game called life together

It means that we’re on the same page

It means you see me in the same fashion I see you

You see the small things that matter the most

When I attempt to smile through my pain, you see the pain before the smile even begins to form

You notice things about me that no one else sees, even things that I can’t see in myself

It means that you can bring out my best qualities

It means that when you’re by my side, my smile is a little wider, my eyes are a little brighter, all because you make my heart a little lighter

It means that you’re the woman in my life, the only woman in my life except for the woman who was in my life since my first breath

It means that if you need me, I will be there for you whenever humanly possible

It means that I will hug you when you’re sad, tell you I love you when you feel down,

Do my best to put a smile on your face whenever you’re in pain,

Even when I’m upset with you, I would still rather have you than other Woman

You’re special

There’s something in you that I see that shows me that you’re here for me, for who I am

Instead of what you think I may have or what you think I may have in the future

You’re here for the person I am, and I am here for the person I see in you

A strong and confident, but still delicate and soft woman, willing to be submissive to your husband

Willing to keep him happy, while he is sure to try his best to keep you happy

It means that through thick and thin, laughter and sorrow, joy and hurt, I can always look to my right and see your beautiful face

That’s all I need

A woman to love me the way I need to be loved

A woman that I can cherish the way she needs to be cherished

A woman not too fixated on material things, but has a balance between the tangible and intangible

She will cherish the intangible things just as much

Things like the poetry I write to her

But also will like to see a gesture of my love in a material way every now and then

Nothing too expensive, just something that says I love you like no other

But a woman who is willing to return the sentiments as well

One that will receive my forms of love, as well as give love in her own ways

Because I will cherish the tangible and intangible also

A woman that will love me, for me

Love from the heart and soul is all I ask for

Are you willing to provide me with that?

I want to know

Are you willing to love me?

A Light Declaration of Love

A Light Declaration of Love

By Blessed

Hey babe

You look lovely today…

Not that you don’t look lovely any other day

But you really look extra special today

Cuz u know you’re beautiful everyday in my eyes n…well u know what I’m trying to say

Here I am babbling like a child about how good you look

I just wanted to let you know that I love you

All this time that you’ve been in my arms have been nothing short of amazing

Every day you make me smile with the simplest things

Sometimes you just look at me and your eyes seem to tell me what your heart is saying

And every time, I feel the same way, and I don’t even have to say it

I have so much I want to tell you, but everything I want to say you somehow already see in me

You have so much insight to me

I love it when I’m about to say something and you put your finger on my lips and simply say with a loving voice…“sshhhh…I know”

Even though we’ve only been together for a year, 3 months, 13 days, 4 hr, 26 minutes and…well u get the point

Even though we’ve only been together for this long, it feels like a lot longer…

I love the fact that our relationship was first a solid friendship, and then given time and space to grow into the beauty that it has become

You are always there when I need you, and a lot of times when I just want you to be there

And I try my best to do the same

I feel as though if the words “best relationship” were to be defined in a dictionary they couldn’t even use words…

There would just be a picture of us standing in the middle of a park in the morning time, my right arm wrapped around your back, with your left wrapped around mine, while my left hand is holding your right

Yea we have our ups n downs, but what man and woman don’t?

I’m not looking for perfect love, where we never argue and we always see things in exactly the same light

I value our arguments just as much as I value nights where we’re out paint the down red, blue, n gold

Both allow me to see you in different ways…

I want to see how you are when you’re angry, and what things make you get that way, because that’s a big part of getting to know you too

I love you in your frustration and in your delight…because I love YOU! Not just the parts of you that suit my moods

You’re not fooled by what others say about us

You’re secure in our love just as I am

Listen babe…don’t ever change unless its going to make you a better person, closer to Christ…because He will always be more important in your life than I’ll ever be

I know I don’t need to tell you that, but I know sometimes it’s good to hear it, especially from your man.

You’re beautiful on the outside and in…and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon

I love you…